Everyday life · Mediation · Rematch
Rematch & changing families: a complete guide
Direct answer
If you have a problem with your host family, start with kindly mediation: talk calmly, then re-read the host agreement. Changing families (the rematch) mid-stay is possible: it requires mutual written notice (the length is set in your agreement) and, for a VLS-TS visa, informing the prefecture of the end of the stay.
Framework: Service-Public F13348 (ver. 14/08/2026) · France-Visas · Last updated 17/08/2026.
This guide helps you defuse tensions before a breakup, then handle a rematch cleanly once the decision is made — without endangering your stay.
First: resolve the conflict through mediation
Most tensions resolve through an honest conversation. Before a rematch, try these steps:
1. Identify the real issue
Chores, hours, pocket money, housing, communication... pinpoint the exact point rather than general fatigue.
2. Talk calmly
Choose a calm moment. Use "I" statements and listen. Most families are open to adjusting.
3. Involve a neutral third party
If it stalls, a mediator or your platform can help reframe the conversation.
4. Write the agreed rules down
The host family handbook is a great support.
Changing families mid-stay: the notice period
When a breakup is inevitable, the host agreement provides cancellation by mutual written notice. The exact length is what you agreed in the agreement: in practice, moving between households often takes one to two weeks. Always check the exact wording of your document.
How to notify cleanly?
- — Write a written notice (email with read receipt) to the family, noting the end date.
- — Respect the mutual notice agreed in the agreement (no overnight departure).
- — Complete your childcare duties during the notice and settle pocket money pro rata.
Prefecture update (VLS-TS visa)
The VLS-TS "au pair" visa is linked to the host family declared in the application. Changing families does not automatically mean losing your residence right, but you must be reported to the prefecture along with the new signed agreement.
- — EU/EEA nationals (aid family trainee) have no visa: no prefecture update needed, but a new agreement is required.
- — non-EU/EEA nationals (au pair, VLS-TS) must contact the prefecture with the new host agreement.
Rematch: a supported solution
Rematch is common and accepted: it is neither shameful nor a failure. Most rematches happen through the platform or organisation, which can help you move to a new family.
Contact your platform
Your organisation handles the rematch and reconnects you.
Sign a new agreement
Finish the notice first, then sign the new host agreement.
Secure your stay
The transition is smooth if handled and declared cleanly.