Identity · Anti-scam · Red flags · Safe document exchange

How to verify an au pair identity safely online

A verified badge, a nice photo and a smooth video are not proof. This guide gives you the four checks that actually work remotely, the red flags that should stop a conversation, and the documents you should never send.

Verified on 29 October 2026 · Compliance Team

Direct answer

Verifying an au pair’s identity online means checking that the person in the conversation is the person on an official document, that the document is current, and that the story is consistent across independent sources. Do it in four steps: a live video call with the document, a check that the face, the document and the account belong together, a cross-check of the story and independent reference calls. The right-to-stay check is a separate verification, on top of these four steps. A badge, a photo or a recorded video is not enough on its own.

Not sure what an au pair exactly is? What an au pair is: definition, role & rules.

1. What “verify an identity online” actually means

A first contact online gives you three things to check: a document, a person and a story. The document tells you what the person claims to be; the live call tells you whether the person is there; the story, the references and the official records tell you whether the claim holds outside the chat. Confusing those three layers is how families end up reassured by a screenshot.

What you can establish remotely	What it does not prove
The name, date of birth and face on the document match the profile and the person on a live call.	That the document is authentic beyond a human visual check; a forgery can pass.
The document is current and belongs to someone of the age stated in the application.	That the person is eligible for the au pair route: age caps and status depend on the host country.
The account is controlled by the person on the document at the time of the call.	That the account has not changed hands since, or that the person will behave as claimed.
The candidate can sustain a coherent history across messages, documents and references.	Childcare skills, patience, motivation or respect for the agreement.
The visa or permit looks genuine if you check its security features and cross-check it against the passport, the contract or agreement and the dates.	That the visa is valid for this placement, this employer or these dates.

One useful rule: a verification answer should always say what was checked and when. “Verified profile” with no scope and no date is a marketing line, not a finding. The same rule applies to your own checks — write down the date, the document type and the points you compared, so that a later doubt can be traced back to a fact.

If you are still at the stage of choosing a channel, our guide to finding an au pair sets out the trade-offs between an agency, a platform and a personal network; this page starts once a conversation exists.

2. The four checks that make impersonation expensive

None of these checks is sufficient alone. Together they make impersonation expensive and give you a written record of what you verified. Run them in order, and stop at the first contradiction: a second document does not repair a story that has already changed.

1
Read the document on a live call

Ask the candidate to hold the identity document next to their face, on a live video call — not in a pre-recorded clip and not as a photo sent in the chat. Check all four corners, the expiry date, the machine-readable zone at the bottom and the photograph. Compare the name and date of birth with the profile, the application and the references. If the document is worn, glare hides a field or the photograph looks replaced, ask for a second document rather than guessing.

What it proves

That a document exists, is current, and carries the same name, date of birth and face as the person on the call.

What it does not

A good forgery or an edited image can pass a human eye. A live check raises the cost of impersonation; it does not authenticate the document.
2
Test the live link between face, document and account

The point of the call is not to see a face: it is to see that the face, the document and the account belong to the same person now. Ask for a small unscripted action — turn the head slowly, hold the document at an angle, read today's date aloud, move the camera around the room. Watch for a frozen image, lips that do not match the voice, a background that does not move, or a candidate who insists on a pre-recorded video. Use the platform's own video call, or a call you initiate; never join a link sent by the candidate.

What it proves

That the account is controlled by the person on the document at the time of the call, and that the document is physically present.

What it does not

Filters, virtual cameras and synthetic faces keep improving. A short call is evidence, not a certificate.
3
Cross-check the story against independent traces

Consistency is not proof, but inconsistency is a signal. Compare the name, age, city, school or employer, languages and dates across the profile, the messages and the documents. Run the profile photo through a reverse image search and look for the same face under another name or in a stock-photo catalogue. Check how old the account is and whether the story changes when you ask the same question twice, weeks apart. Ask open questions — 'tell me about your last year' — rather than yes/no questions that a script can answer.

What it proves

That the person can sustain a coherent history, and that the photos and identity traces do not belong to someone else.

What it does not

A patient liar can keep a consistent story, and a genuine candidate can be disorganised. Use this check to decide what to verify next, not to deliver a verdict.
4
Call the references yourself

Ask for two references who are not family members, with a phone number or an organisation you can find independently. Call — do not exchange messages. Ask how long they have known the candidate, in what capacity, what the candidate did day to day, how they handled a difficult moment, and whether they would rehire. Ask whether they have seen the identity document or the visa. A reference who answers only in generalities, or whose number belongs to the candidate, tells you more than a glowing paragraph.

What it proves

That a third party can confirm the candidate’s history, independently of the profile and the documents.

What it does not

References can be staged. An independent organisation is stronger than a mobile number supplied in the same message as the CV.

Eight questions that settle the basics

Ask them in writing, keep the answers, and compare them with the documents. A candidate who answers openly is not automatically safe, but a candidate who dodges every question has already told you where to look.

1.
Which document will you use for the visa route, and can you show it live today?
2.
Does the name on the document match the name on your profile, your references and your visa?
3.
Can we have one unscripted video call, with the document next to your face?
4.
Who are your two non-family references, and how can I reach them independently?
5.
Have you already received the visa or the sponsor document for this placement?
6.
What have you been asked to pay so far, and to whom?
7.
Which platform messages, email addresses and phone numbers have you used with me?
8.
Is there anything in your file you would rather explain now than have me discover later?

This is the identity layer, not the whole selection. For the wider grid — eligibility, interview structure, references and the decision — see screening au pair candidates. And if the conversation is still at the application stage, the application pipeline guide explains why the first contact decides what can be checked later.

3. The red-flag checklist

Fraud rarely announces itself as fraud. It arrives as urgency, a friendly voice and a small favour. The twelve signals below are the ones that most often precede a loss of money or documents. One signal is a reason to slow down; two together are a reason to stop.

Urgency and deadline pressure

“You must confirm today”, “another family is paying”, “the visa slot closes tonight”. Urgency prevents you from doing the checks.

Slow down. A genuine placement can survive one video call and one reference check.

Money before the interview

A registration, visa, agency or “file opening” fee requested before any verified interview, often to a personal account.

Pay nothing before an unscripted video call, a document check and a written agreement. No legitimate process needs a gift card.

Untraceable payment methods

Western Union, MoneyGram, cryptocurrency, gift cards, recharge codes or a payment to a third party’s account.

Treat the request as fraud. A bank transfer to a named legal entity with an invoice is the only acceptable route.

A rush to leave the platform

The conversation moves to a private number before any verification, and the profile is then deleted or abandoned.

Keep the thread on the platform until the identity and the terms are checked. A serious candidate does not need to hide the conversation.

Refusal of any live video

Only photos, voice notes, pre-recorded clips, or a camera that “does not work” every time you ask.

Do not send documents or money until you have had one unscripted live call. Offer an alternative time; a genuine refusal has a reason.

A document that does not match the story

Different name, date of birth or nationality; an expired document; a cropped image; a “new passport” that never arrives.

Pause the process and ask for the document that matches the visa route. Do not accept a screenshot as a substitute.

Photos found under another identity

A reverse image search returns a different name, a stock-photo page or a profile that has been reported.

Ask for a live call with a random action, and report the profile to the platform with the image links.

A story that moves

The city, the school, the employer, the dates or the family situation change between messages.

Write the facts down and compare them. Ask the same question again later, in a different form.

An agency with no legal identity

No company name, no registration number, no official domain, a free mailbox and copied partner logos.

Check the company register and the domain. Ask for an invoice with a legal entity before any payment.

Overpayment and refund requests

The “family” or “candidate” sends too much money and asks you to return the difference, or asks you to forward a payment.

Never forward money. This is a classic laundering and fraud pattern; contact your bank and the platform.

Requests for your own bank details or ID

Someone asks for your bank details, card numbers, one-time codes or a full scan of your passport “to verify you”.

Verification never requires your banking credentials or a one-time code. Share only what the contract genuinely needs.

Disappearance after payment

The profile goes quiet, deletes its messages or blocks you once the money or the documents have been sent.

Preserve the evidence immediately and report it. Do not send more money to “unlock” a refund.

The stop rule

No payment, no document and no personal information before an unscripted live call and a written agreement. A legitimate process can wait for that. If the other side says it cannot, the process is the problem.

4. Exchange documents without handing over your life

Verification does not require a complete copy of everything. The principle is the one the GDPR calls minimisation: collect what the decision needs, keep it only as long as needed, and delete the rest. A family is not an identity provider. The more documents you collect “just in case”, the more you have to protect — and the more a scammer can steal.

Item	What to ask for	What to avoid	How to handle it
Identity document	A live view of the passport or national ID on a video call, after a real conversation and a mutual decision to continue.	A full scan sent by email to an unverified contact, or a photo stored in a shared album.	Check the name, date of birth, expiry and photograph; note the check date; delete the copy once the decision is made.
Visa or residence permit	The visa sticker or the decision, with the dates and the issuing authority visible.	A screenshot without a number or a date, or a “visa agent” promise instead of the document.	Compare the name and dates with the passport and the contract. Check the route with the official source for the host country.
References	Two non-family references and a way to reach them independently.	A reference whose number is supplied by the candidate and who only answers by text.	Call, ask specific questions, and write down the date and the relationship.
Criminal record	Only the check that the route actually requires, through the official channel, and only the result or status that is needed.	A raw extract by email, or a document collected “just in case”.	Ask what the host country requires, keep the status and the date, and never store more than necessary.
Bank details	Nothing before a written agreement and a verified counterpart, and only through the agreed payment channel.	Your own bank details, card numbers, one-time codes or a copy of your passport to “verify” you.	Use an invoice from a named legal entity. If the request is unusual, stop and check with your bank.
Your own ID	Nothing to an unverified candidate. If a document is genuinely required, redact what is not needed and watermark it.	A full scan of your passport or ID sent in the first messages.	Prefer a live video or a platform verification. A family is not a KYC provider; do not build a file you do not need.

If you keep these documents, apply the principles of the GDPR: collect only what the decision requires, tell the candidate where the document is kept, why and for how long, and delete it when the reason disappears. A liveness selfie processed to compare or uniquely identify a person may be biometric data (Articles 4 and 9 of the GDPR). Do not run facial recognition yourself: the CNIL sets out the applicable rules, and an identity document is not biometric in itself.

5. Check the right to stay separately

Identity and permission to stay are two different questions. A genuine passport proves who someone is; it says nothing about whether they may live and work as an au pair in your country, for these dates, with this family. The visa or permit check belongs to the consulate and, in some routes, to a public employment authority or a designated sponsor. Never treat a screenshot of a visa as equivalent to the visa.

France

Service-Public.fr F13348

A third-country national (outside the EU/EEA/Switzerland) arriving in France as an au pair normally needs a long-stay visa (visa de long séjour valant titre de séjour) and an au pair agreement (convention d’accueil). For EU/EEA/Swiss nationals the route is different and does not go through this visa. The visa and the agreement are separate from the identity check: a genuine passport does not prove the visa, and a visa does not prove the person. Read the visa dates and the mention, then compare them with the agreement and the arrival date.

Au pair visa for France — the official route

Germany

BeschV 2013 · Bundesagentur für Arbeit

Germany issues a national visa (type D) for au pairs, in principle to third-country nationals — some nationalities are exempt at entry. For those nationals, the Bundesagentur für Arbeit’s approval (Zustimmung) is required under § 12 BeschV. The Au-Pair-Vertrag sets the terms. That approval is built into the visa or residence permit: it is not a separate document to request. Ask for the visa and check the dates against the contract.

Au pair visa in Germany — approval and contract

United States

22 CFR §62.31

The au pair route is the J-1 Exchange Visitor Program. A designated sponsor issues the DS-2019 and must run the background investigation required by 22 CFR §62.31, including school verification, non-family references, a criminal check and a psychometric profile; all adults living in the household are interviewed, and the parents and adults living there full time undergo a background investigation (22 CFR §62.31(h)(3)-(4)). Agency or local requirements may add to this. Verify that the sponsor is designated and that the DS-2019 dates match the placement — a badge or a screenshot is not enough.

Au pair visa and contract — documents and authorities

If the candidate has not yet received the visa or the sponsor document, the identity check can still be done — but the placement is not complete. Keep the two decisions separate in your notes, and never let a good video call stand in for an official document.

6. If you suspect a scam

Act in this order. The first hour matters more than the perfect report: stopping a payment and preserving the evidence is worth more than a long explanation.

1. Stop all payments and do not send more.

A request to pay a “release fee” or a “refundable deposit” to recover the first payment is the same scam continuing.
2. Preserve the evidence.

Screenshots of the profile, the messages, the document images, the payment references, the phone numbers and the URLs. Do not delete the thread.
3. Report it to the platform.

Use the report button or the trust contact. Attach the evidence and ask for a written acknowledgement.
4. Contact your bank immediately if you paid.

Ask about a recall or a chargeback. Speed matters more than the amount. If you shared card details, ask for the card to be blocked.
5. Use the official reporting routes.

In France: Signal Conso for the commercial practices of businesses and agencies. A scam between individuals or an impersonation is reported by filing a complaint with the police or the gendarmerie — the online complaint service excludes scams committed on the internet. For illegal online content, use Pharos. Cybermalveillance provides guidance; it is not a complaints desk. Outside France, use your local police and the platform. If identity documents were stolen, report that separately.

Do not confront the person with a detailed accusation: it gives them time to delete the account and the evidence. Report first, then decide whether to reply.

7. What AuPair Connect does — and what it does not

A platform can remove friction, but it cannot take your place. Here is the honest split between what the product does and what remains your decision.

What the platform does

• A verified contact point on every profile: an email or phone number whose holder proved control at sign-up.
• Voluntary identity verification for VIP accounts, through Stripe Identity: identity document and liveness selfie.
• A proof of address and a criminal-record extract may be added, depending on the country.
• Video calls inside any conversation, including the three free conversations, on mobile.
• Only the verification verdict (CLEAR, FLAGGED or INCONCLUSIVE) and its timestamp are stored; raw documents stay with the authorised provider.

What it does not do

• It does not verify every profile’s identity by default: identity verification is voluntary and limited to VIP accounts.
• It does not guarantee conduct, patience or childcare skills.
• It does not replace the visa, the permit or the sponsor’s own checks.
• It does not become the employer: the agreement and the legal duties stay with the family.
• It does not turn a badge into a promise. A badged profile still needs your calls and your judgement.

The full scope, the provider and the limits are described on our safety approach. For the technical mechanics of an identity-verification chain — document reading, liveness, face matching and the GDPR framework — the provider’s own documentation and our safety page are the reference; this page deliberately stays on the family’s side of the screen.

8. Frequently asked questions

Can I verify an au pair's identity without a platform?

Yes, up to a point. A live video call, a document shown on camera, a reverse image search and two independent reference calls already stop the most common impersonation attempts. What you cannot do alone is authenticate a document with the same reliability as a specialist provider, or check a visa against the issuing authority. A platform or a verification provider adds that layer; it does not remove the need for your own calls.

Is a photo of an ID document enough to prove identity?

No. A photo can be stolen, edited, generated or borrowed. It proves that someone possesses an image of a document, not that the person in the chat is the document holder. Treat an unsolicited scan as a lead, never as proof: ask for the document to be shown live, next to the face, and compare the details with the profile.

Should I ask for a passport or a national ID card?

Either can establish name, date of birth, photograph and expiry. A passport is the more portable document for an international move and carries a machine-readable zone; a national identity card is often enough for an EU candidate. Ask for the document that matches the route the person will actually use, and check that the name on it matches the name on the visa, the contract and the references.

Is a live video call proof of identity?

It is strong evidence that the person controlling the account is the person on the document at that moment, provided the call is live and unscripted. It is not absolute: filters, virtual cameras and synthetic faces exist. Ask for a small random action — turning the head, holding the document beside the face, reading today's date — and be wary of a call that feels pre-recorded or refuses any improvisation.

Can I ask an au pair for a criminal record check?

It depends on the route and the country. In the United States the J-1 sponsor must run a background investigation under 22 CFR §62.31; in France and Germany the au pair route does not impose the same background investigation at federal level, although agency or local requirements may add to it. Ask for the check that the route actually requires, through the official channel, and never ask for the raw extract to be emailed to you if a status and a date are enough.

What documents should I never send?

Never send your bank details, card numbers, one-time codes or a full scan of your own passport to someone you have not verified. If a document is genuinely needed, send only the page that is necessary, watermark it with the purpose and the date, use the platform's messaging rather than email, and delete it once the decision is made. A candidate who asks for your bank details 'to verify you' is using verification as a pretext.

What if the au pair refuses to show ID?

A refusal is information, not necessarily fraud. Some candidates are cautious about documents, and that is legitimate. Explain what you need, why, and how you will store it; offer a live video rather than a copy; propose a redacted document or a verification through the platform. If the refusal is absolute and comes with pressure to pay or to move off-platform, stop the process.

Does AuPair Connect verify every au pair's identity?

No, and the distinction matters. Every profile has a verified contact point — an email or phone number whose holder proved control at sign-up. Identity verification is voluntary and limited to VIP accounts: an identity document and a liveness selfie checked by Stripe Identity, to which a proof of address and a criminal-record extract may be added, depending on the country. A verified badge is proof of identity at a point in time, never a guarantee of conduct.

Official sources (verified on 29/10/2026): Service-Public.fr F13348 ; 22 CFR §62.31 ; BeschV 2013 ; Regulation (EU) 2016/679 (GDPR) ; CNIL — biometrics ; Signal Conso ; Pharos ; Cybermalveillance.gouv.fr. AuPair Connect cannot be held liable for legislative changes after the verification date nor for the interpretation of the texts cited. The official requirements of the host country and of the verification provider always prevail. This page is general information, not legal advice.

Verify first, then decide

Download AuPair Connect: the app brings the conversation, the video call and the optional identity verification together, while the agreement and the final decision stay with you. Available on the App Store and Google Play.

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Keep exploring

✅ Screening au pair candidates — the full grid 🗂️ Application management — the six stages 🛡️ Our safety approach — scope, provider and limits 🛂 Au pair visa and contract — documents and authorities

Prepared by AuPair Connect — Compliance Team

Every legal, tax or safety detail in this content is verified by the AuPair Connect Compliance Team against official sources and dated.

Notice anything inaccurate or out of date? Help us keep this content up to date by writing to [email protected].

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