Programme · 5-step lifecycle · Daily life · Compliance
How do au pairs work? The programme explained step by step
What the au pair programme really involves, from the first search to the end of the placement: a five-step lifecycle, a realistic day in the life, the legal numbers for 2026, and a comparison of the do-it-yourself and platform routes.
Direct answer
An au pair placement works as a five-step cycle: search, match, signature of the convention and legal formalities, the day-to-day stay, then the end of the placement or a rematch. Throughout, the au pair is a cultural-exchange participant, not an employee: they help with the children within a national hour ceiling — for example 25 h/week in France and a practice of about 30 h/week in Germany — and receive pocket money (€326.25–€391.50/month in France for EU/EEA nationals, a floor of about €320/month for non-EU/EEA nationals, and €280/month in Germany for 2026) plus board and lodging. Only the search-and-match stage changes when you use an agency rather than a platform.
Verified by the AuPair Connect Compliance Team · Last updated: 21/09/2026.
Not sure what an au pair exactly is? What an au pair is: definition, role & rules.
1. The au pair lifecycle in five steps
Every placement follows the same arc, whether it starts inside an agency or on a direct platform. Read the five steps below as an infographic: they show who does what, and where the legal obligations bite.
- 1
Step 1 · Family · Candidate
Search & define the project
The family writes a realistic brief (dates, hours, tasks, language) and the candidate prepares a profile. This is the only stage the channel really changes: an agency runs the search for you, a direct platform lets you run it yourself.
- 2
Step 2 · Family · Candidate
Match & interview
Both sides shortlist and interview, check references and motivations, and agree on the terms. A video call and a written summary of expectations reduce the risk of a mismatch later.
- 3
Step 3 · Family · Authority
Convention & legal formalities
You sign the host-family convention or au pair contract, arrange insurance, and complete the mandatory declarations (for example the URSSAF declaration within 8 days in France). Any visa is handled here too.
- 4
Step 4 · Family · Au pair
Day-to-day placement
The au pair lives with the family, helps with the children within the legal hour ceiling, takes language classes, and receives pocket money plus board and lodging. A weekly schedule keeps the arrangement fair.
- 5
Step 5 · Family · Au pair
End of placement or rematch
The placement ends on the agreed date, having respected the notice terms. If it breaks down earlier, the written rematch procedure applies — relaunch the search, or organise the return.
The key insight: an agency only changes steps 1 and 2 — the search and the pre-selection. Steps 3 to 5, and every legal obligation attached to them, remain the family's responsibility regardless of channel. If you are still clarifying the role itself, start with what an au pair is.
2. A day in the life of an au pair
A typical weekday is organised around the children's routine and the language course. The example below is illustrative, not a contractual template: the binding schedule is the one written in your convention.
| Time | Activity | Counts as hours? |
|---|---|---|
| 07:30 – 08:30 | Help the children get ready and take them to school | Yes |
| 09:00 – 12:30 | Language course / free time | No |
| 16:30 – 19:00 | Collect the children, supervise homework, prepare their meal | Yes |
| 19:00 – 20:30 | Bath and bedtime routine for the children | Yes |
| Evening | Free time, family life, personal study | No |
Illustrative only. The legal hour ceiling for the destination always applies, and the exact schedule belongs in the written convention. Heavy housework and work unrelated to the children are outside the au pair framework.
The daily reality is a cultural exchange, not a job: the au pair shares family life, learns the language and is treated as a family member, while the family provides pocket money, a private room and meals. That is the trade at the heart of the programme — and the reason the legal status is distinct from employment.
3. The rules that make it work: hours, pocket money and status
Three numbers define every placement, and all three are national. Always confirm the current figures with the authority named — they are revised annually.
| Destination | Weekly hour ceiling | Pocket money (2026) | Official framework |
|---|---|---|---|
| France | Max 5 h/day · 25 h/week | €326.25–€391.50/month (EU/EEA) · floor ~€320 (non-EU/EEA) | Service-Public F13348 (EU/EEA) + Strasbourg Agreement art. 9 (5 h/day) + URSSAF declaration within 8 days |
| Germany | ~30 h/week (practice) | ~€280/month | Bundesagentur für Arbeit framework; residence title for third-country nationals |
| United States | 45 h/week (programme limit) | Programme stipend (structural) | 22 CFR 62.31 — J-1 visa via a designated sponsor |
Germany
United StatesSources (verified September 2026): France Service-Public F13348, URSSAF and the Strasbourg Agreement (BOE-A-1988-21042, art. 9); Germany arbeitsagentur.de; United States 22 CFR §62.31 and j1visa.state.gov. Rules change: confirm with the authority before signing.
The status is the fourth pillar. An au pair is not an employee: pocket money is not a salary, the room and meals are provided in kind, and the framework is a cultural exchange. Misclassifying the placement as a regular employment contract — or the reverse — is the most common compliance mistake. Our real cost of an au pair breaks down what the family actually pays, month by month.
4. DIY matching vs platform matching
Once the legal steps are clear, the only real choice is how you find each other. The table compares the fully do-it-yourself route with a direct matching platform — factually, with no recommendation.
| Criterion | DIY (no agency) | Direct platform |
|---|---|---|
| Who runs the search | The family and candidate themselves (networks, social groups, word of mouth) | The platform surfaces profiles; the family/candidate filter and contact directly |
| Upfront cost | No placement fee, but a high time cost | No agency placement fee; optional paid tiers |
| Screening & identity checks | Manual: references and documents verified by the family | Platform-level checks (email, phone, optional KYC) plus your own checks |
| Reach | Limited to your own network and language | International pool, filterable by language and dates |
| Contract & formalities | Entirely the family’s responsibility | Convention templates and guidance, still the family’s responsibility |
| If the match fails | Relaunch the search from scratch | Relaunch the search with your history preserved |
| Best for | Families with time, networks and experience | Families and candidates who want reach, speed and control |
Factual comparison prepared in line with comparative advertising rules; no competitor logos, no denigration. Neither route removes the legal obligations in step 3 of the lifecycle.
5. Compliance checklist for the host family
Tick every line before the au pair arrives. These are the obligations that exist whichever channel you used.
- Written convention or au pair contract, signed before the stay States dates, weekly hours, tasks, pocket money, board and lodging, notice and rematch terms.
- Legal declarations completed with the right authority France: URSSAF declaration within 8 days. Germany: residence title with Bundesagentur für Arbeit consent for third-country nationals.
- Hours within the national ceiling France: max 5 h/day (Strasbourg Agreement, art. 9) and 25 h/week. Germany: ~30 h/week (au pair placement practice). The contract cannot exceed the applicable ceiling.
- Pocket money at or above the national floor France: €326.25–€391.50/month (EU/EEA) or a floor of ~€320/month (non-EU/EEA) in 2026. Germany: ~€280/month in 2026 (Bundesagentur für Arbeit). Revised annually — verify with the authority.
- Insurance in place before arrival Health, accident and liability cover valid in the host country for the whole stay.
- Visa or residence title where required US J-1 via a designated sponsor (22 CFR 62.31); non-EU candidates need the destination residence title.
- GDPR: identity documents shared through a secure channel Only after a written contract, and with a clear data controller and retention period.
Safety first
Share identity documents only through a secure channel and only after a written contract. Under the GDPR you have the right to access, rectify and erase personal data held by a platform or agency — ask who the controller is and where the data is stored. Read how we handle reports in our safety approach.
6. What it costs to host — and how the app simplifies it
Hosting an au pair means pocket money, board and lodging, insurance, and any social contributions — regardless of how you matched. Model the full monthly figure with our cost of an au pair guide and the pocket-money figures by country.
The mobile route replaces the paper chase of steps 1 to 3 — profiles, messaging, reminders and the convention — with a single guided flow, so the administrative side of the lifecycle does not fall through the cracks.
7. Frequently asked questions about how au pairs work
How does the au pair programme work in practice?
The programme runs as a five-step lifecycle: (1) the family and the candidate define their project and search; (2) they match and interview; (3) they sign the host-family convention or au pair contract and complete the legal declarations; (4) they live the placement, with pocket money, board and lodging, and a fixed weekly schedule; (5) the placement ends on the agreed date, or a rematch is organised if it breaks down earlier. The channel (agency or direct platform) changes step 1 and 2, never steps 3 to 5.
What do au pairs actually do day to day?
An au pair helps with childcare and light housework linked to the children, and takes language classes in exchange for pocket money, board and lodging. Typical tasks are school runs, preparing simple meals for the children, bath and bedtime routines, tidying the children's rooms and supervising homework. The status is a cultural exchange, not a domestic job: heavy housework, full-time hours and work unrelated to the children are outside the framework.
How many hours does an au pair work?
The ceiling is national and always written in the convention. In France it is a maximum of 5 hours per day and 25 hours per week for a foreign "stagiaire aide familial" (the 5 h/day limit comes from the European Agreement on Au Pair Placement, Strasbourg, 24/11/1969, art. 9). In Germany the au pair placement framework sets a practice of around 30 hours per week; federal law imposes no fixed weekly ceiling. Always check the current figure with the authority named for the destination — the binding limit is the one in your contract, not a generic figure online.
How much pocket money does an au pair get?
Pocket money is set by the host country, not negotiated freely, and is paid on top of board and lodging. In France it is €326.25–€391.50 per month for an EU/EEA national (stagiaire aide familial, indexed on the guaranteed minimum wage and revised each year), and a floor of around €320 per month for non-EU/EEA nationals. In Germany the reference published by the Bundesagentur für Arbeit is about €280 per month, set by contract. Amounts are revised annually: confirm the current figure with the authority before budgeting.
Do au pairs need a visa?
It depends on the destination and the candidate's nationality. For the United States, an au pair enters on a J-1 Exchange Visitor visa that only a designated sponsor can issue (22 CFR 62.31). Within the EU/EEA and Switzerland, free movement usually removes the visa requirement for European candidates; non-EU candidates need a residence title for the destination country (for example a VLS-TS in France, or a residence title with Bundesagentur für Arbeit consent in Germany).
What happens if the match does not work out?
A clear convention should include a trial period and a rematch procedure. If the placement breaks down, both parties follow the notice period written in the contract, and the family either relaunches the search (self-service on a platform, or via the agency) or the candidate returns home. Never rely on a verbal "guarantee": the rematch and notice terms must be in writing to be enforceable.
Is the au pair programme the same as hiring an employee?
No. An au pair is a temporary cultural-exchange participant, not an employee of the family and not a full-time domestic worker. That distinction drives the specific rules — reduced hours, pocket money rather than a salary, board and lodging in kind, and language classes. Misclassifying an au pair as a regular employee (or the reverse) is a compliance risk for the host family.
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Prepared by AuPair Connect — Compliance Team
Every legal, tax or safety detail in this content is verified by the AuPair Connect Compliance Team against official sources and dated.
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